This drawing was made during a time when I felt a growing distance in a relationship that had once been creatively and emotionally alive. I called it Emotionally Unavailable – which seemed to fit the situation I was in. I grew up in a home where emotional presence was rare, and maybe that’s what this work is really about — the familiar pain of wanting to speak and not finding someone who can listen.
That feeling followed me into adulthood – resurfacing with muses, friends, and even family. Just recently I noticed it again: I began opening up to a friend, sharing something personal about my art and models – but the conversation got interrupted. Though we spent hours together afterwards, the space to return to that topic never came back. That quiet disappointment lingered. I realized it’s a recurring story in my life.
Looking back, this drawing speaks to all of that. The desire to connect, to be seen, while the other person is closing off — in the body, in the eyes, in the moment. I think it’s one of the most emotionally resonant works I’ve made, and maybe one of the most personal too, even though while creating it I was thinking about the colors, unaware of what really came through in it.
